You Are Not Alone
by Naurring
Summary: SLASH! Elrond finds that he is not as alone as he thought. AU. ElrondErestor


**Disclaimer:** All characters, settings, events etc. in this story belong to J.R.R Tolkien, but definitely not to me. No profit is being made.

**Warning:** Au, slash  
**Pairing: **Elrond/Erestor  
**Words:** 2,094  
**Author's note: **Perhaps I should warn you that I cried the whole time while writing this thing. Now I was rather down this day and then I start to cry very easily, so there shouldn't be too great a risk. But maybe you should keep some tissues ready, if that counts for you as well.  
Many thanks go to Minuial Nuwing for doing the betareading. All remaining mistakes are in the responsibility of the author.

Erestor POV

**You Are Not Alone**

Slowly I went through the quiet corridor. The silence was so complete that even my light elvish footsteps produced small echoes. I went past all the statues, all those paintings and wooden carvings that depicted the heroes of times long gone by – that told of their adventures, their great deeds, or of their dolorous deaths. Tales of deep hatred and even deeper loves, tales of the lives of elves that had long gone past the boundaries of this world, by one path or the other.

I reached my destination and stopped in front of the beautiful door. A masterfully crafted carving adorned the portal, a picture of two people dancing together in a light wood. A male and a female. The female had long hair that floated behind her as she whirled around lauhging, thereby showing the perfectly pointed ears. The male looked wonderingly at her, his hand clasped tightly around her slender fingers. His build was far sturdier and his features were not as harmonious as hers. A short beard at his chin revealed to which race he belonged.

Beren and Lúthien. The two most famous lovers in all the history of Arda. They had fought for their love and no matter what came between them they had stood up against it, even defeating death in the end. It was no coincidence that just this image had been chosen for the door to these rooms. A good wish had it been, intended to show everyone who passed these rooms that the happiest of couples lived in these quarters, and that their love ran as deep as the roots of the world.

I did not bother to knock as I knew that I would receive no answer. Silently I pushed the beautiful door open and then leaned against the doorway to watch the last remaining resident.

Elrond sat next to the big bed in a heavy chair that had once had its place in the living room of the quarters. He had moved it in here when he had first started reliving the past. A great glass pitcher stood in front of him, half filled with blood red wine. The other half had already found its way past the lips that now closed once again over the rim of the goblet to take another draught of the potent liquid.

Elrond stared down into the goblet and I could see the pain in his eyes as he remembered something that had shared the vibrant colour. I knew he was thinking of the day his sons had brought back his beloved wife, torn in body and soul, hurt beyond imagining. I knew that he saw her blood cling to his hands and clothes after he had tried to repair her wounded body.

His free hand reached out and picked up a piece of paper. I knew what it depicted, I had been there when he dug it out of all the memories that had gathered during the years in the form of letters, drawings, forgotten toys and jewellery.

Elladan had drawn the picture centuries ago, when he was still a little child and the family had been complete. It showed just the family, on a bright summer day in the garden, when Elrond had left his duties to spend some time with his loved ones in the warm sun. The twins had insisted on taking their drawing stuff with them and Elladan had drawn just the picture that his father now pondered. It showed the family on a blanket in the garden: Elrond, Celebrían, Arwen on her mother's lap and the twins in front of them.

Elrond's red eyes and the dark circles under them told the story of day lasting mourning. He would have cried looking at the picture, that I knew, if he still had had tears. But they had run dry a long time ago.

My own heart contracted at seeing him so. Life had been hard on him and I had always admired the way he managed to be strong, the way he didn't let himself get down and always lent a listening ear to the problems of others, the way he had kept his high spirits. But in the end Elrond had nothing left but his pain. And I intended to change that.

I moved from the doorway and silently closed the door behind me. Elrond didn't seem to notice as I stepped up to him, hands buried in the sleeves of my robe.

He had put the picture back down and now fingered a butterfly shaped hairclip, which was made out of dozens of blue and violet stones. The hairclip had once belonged to Celebrían, Elrond had given it to her when the twins were born and it had always been her favorite. Tenderly he caressed it, eyes distant and lost in memories of the past. It was about time that he came back to live in the present and the future.

I stood next to him and carefully took hold of the hairclip, pulling it out of his hands. For a moment he just looked at his empty hands and then slowly looked up, staring at me, a bit dazed. "Erestor," he mumbled.

"Yes," I answered simply.

He nodded and stared down at the picture again before lifting his glass and emptying it in one go. "They have left me, Erestor," he whispered, putting down his goblet again, but never letting go of it. "They have left me and they will never come back." He reached for the pitcher and filled the glass once more, immediately drinking the intoxicating liquid. I leaned forward and gently pried the glass from his hands and took the pitcher away. I put both on a small shelf on the other side of the room, a safe distance from Elrond.

He didn't even seem to notice. He just stared at the picture as a small tear ran down his cheek. "First my brother chose mortality. Then my wife left me and Arwen chose to share the rest of her now-mortal life with a man. And now even my two sons have deserted me," he whispered in a choked voice. "They have left me. I have lost everyone. I'm alone. There is nobody now."

He looked up at me and I nearly cried myself at the raw pain I saw in his eyes. Oh, how I wished the twins had stayed. I would miss them terribly, but my sorrow was nothing compared to the pain their departure caused Elrond. Two weeks ago they had announced that they would not come with us to Valinor. Elladan and Elrohir would become mortal, and spend the rest of their lives with their sister in Gondor. They had departed this morning, taking the last of Elrond's heart with them.

"They had to make their choice, Elrond, and I'm sure they would have come with you if you had asked them. And I think you know that. You didn't do it because you knew that it was their fate and that it was right. They were not meant for eternity."

The tears had intensified and now small silver streams poured down the pale cheeks. Sobs shook his form and one hand clung to the side of the table.

"Why?" he managed to say between his tears. "Why is everyone I love taken away from me?"

"Not everyone, Elrond. I am still here. Glorfindel is still here, as are many others. Celebrían awaits you in the Undying Lands."

"You know that's a false hope. You know that Celebrían is lost to me."

I knew it to be true. Celebrían had given him his freedom before she sailed. Their love for each other had changed a long time ago. I had no doubt that they would still carefor one another, that they would be there for each other and each be happy to have the other back again. But it wasn't the same any more. The unconditional love of life mates, of lovers had faded. That was the worst for him, that he exactly knew that the only member of his family left to him wasn't really part of the family anymore.

But he yearned for love, needed it as much as he needed air to breathe. And I intended to give it to him.

"You are not alone, Elrond. You don't need to be alone," I softly said, walking to his side again. "There is love for you everywhere, you just have to come back out of the past and start living in the present again. Of course it hurts to lose them, and you will never stop missing them. You don't need to. But you have to go on. Life is not over, and you have to make the best of it. Look around you, Elrond. There is love everywhere. Open your eyes and see it. And then take it." Carefully I leaned over him and tenderly pressed my lips against his. Just for a short moment, just long enough to show him what I was offering.

He had gone quiet. The sobs had ceased and he now stared at me, his eyes big with amazement. I took a step back, restoring some distance between us, a distance appropriate for an advisor and his lord. "I love you, Elrond. I have for a long time, but I have kept this love to myself, nursed and cherished it, like a small seedling. It has now grown into a strong and tall tree and it just waits for you to pick its fruits, if you want them."

Elrond said nothing, he looked at me completely puzzled, and I used the time to study his features. To take in the perfect curve of his nose, his beautiful eyes and his soft lips.

"You…" he brought forth after some time. "You say… say that… You want me to…"

"I am offering you my love," I confirmed. "I am offering to spend my life at your side, to cherish you, to care for you… to simply love you. To be your lover if you want."

Again he said nothing, and I added in a now trembling voice: "You don't need to be alone."

He looked at me as I stood there – trembling, waiting, my heart beating madly with anticipation. I had feared taking this step, feared being turned away and laughed at. But I couldn't bear his pain any longer and wanted to take it away.

Slowly he rose and stepped towards me. I looked up at him, but all I could see in his features was this infinite wonder. "You love me…" he whispered.

"Yes," I answered.

Slowly and carefully I slipped an arm around his neck and pulled him toward me, pressing my lips to his once again, this time lingering just a bit longer. "Love is everywhere," I whispered against his lips. "You just need to take it."

He looked down, amazed, thinking. Then he slowly laid his arms around my waist and my heart leaped with joy. He started to tremble slightly and with a sob he rested his head against my shoulder and cried.

I held him. I simply held him and rubbed his back. Slowly his sobbing ceased and after a while I pushed him away from me and turned him to face the bed. "Come, Elrond. It is late." I steered him to the bed and urged him down on the pillows, pulling the cover over my beloved as I lay down next to him.

His eyes still held this disbelieving wonder, but he seemed to be calmer now, more accepting. "Do you want it?" I whispered.

He stared and the expression in his eyes changed. The disbelief faded and made a place for determination and a new will to live. "I want it," he whispered and pulled me into his arms. I rested my head on his shoulder and embraced him as well. "Then it is yours." We lay in the bed that had once belonged to Elrond and his wife. But that was over now – it belonged to the past, and we lived in the present, with hope for the future. And we were the future.

Elrond's calm breathing and the slight loosening of his embrace told me that he had fallen asleep, that his exhaustion had overwhelmed him. He now rested and would wake up in the morning to greet our shared eternity.

And with the knowledge that I had eased his pain, and that he had accepted my love I slipped into reverie.

End


End file.
